I’ll be real, original I was going to give some long-ass take on each track for this album and give a full-on review. Then I changed my mind because honestly, I enjoyed the album and making up scenarios where the mandem* would hear each song playing is way more jokes.
This is that track you play when you have a shorty at your crib and you told her that you have a house music bag* that you can show her but you lied and this is the only dance album you’ve ever listened to.
This is that song that you hear when you’re drunk at the all-white day party that you went to because your girl left you a month ago after a fight. You’re high-key in pain so you’re outside just yelling “just as I expected, you’re falling back on me” in a cabana full of women.
This is the one you hear at the bottomless mimosa brunch that you went to because you misread the flyer and now you’re at the table across from the girl you used to deal* with.
This is the track you hear at the day party with an eclectic crowd in a park with bare* trees.
This is the song you hear at the club when you walk in with your new girl and run into your ex and you think she is down bad without you.
This is the song you hear when you drank way too much in the club, end up on a full-fledge thirst ting singing the interlude to this song to some girl across the club who been eying your mans but you’re bad with social queues.
Honestly, this one will probably just play when you’re out period but the whole time you’re watching around the room to make sure nobody is singing “you know how sticky it gets” in your direction because you do not know “how sticky it gets”.
This is the track in the dj’s Serato and you’re at Cabana and they’re just rinsing* it in the Ampiano portion of the setlist.
This is the one you play before your red-eye flight to go see the gyal you met one time in Mykonos but caught feelings for and couldn’t tell the mandem about.
This is the song you play with the top down in the rented convertible that you’re driving down Big Sur from Carmel to Morro Bay in California with your shorty.
This is the one you hear at your boy’s bbq (in one of those backyards with the hanging strings of lights) when the shorty that came with a friend of a friend highjacks the Bluetooth speaker and now you don’t even want to get up to eat the last drumstick on the tray at the table anymore because you remember that last year you brought your girl to this bbq but you guys aren’t together anymore.
This is the track you hear at some South African themed dinner spot on the patio at night and they got that one candle lighting up the table so it’s actually dark and you can only see half of your girl’s face but you don’t complain because she finally picked a place to eat.
This is the song you hear on the drive home on a summer night after ending your situationship* with a shorty because you found out the streets still claim her.
This is the one that you know for sure that one of your mandem will definitely play from this album at probably any function for the rest of the year because he’s too lazy to look for new music outside the premade playlists.
Mandem – the guys, your group of male friends
Bag – the act of being in your own zone or world
Deal – when two people are together but are not sure of their relationship
Bare – several or numerous; more than two of something
Rising – to play or utilize something regularly until it becomes excessive
Situationship – an undefined relationship; you’re more than friends but you aren’t dating either